I should always write, just to write, if not to be absolutely adorned in creativity.  I should let the doors… gates.. windows… open so life can flood in.  In reality I tend to hide alone, bitter and cold over what has or hasn’t happened.  I like rambling.  Nonsense to fill the emptiness that follows the echo of what used to be noise.  Oh so poetic I am, am I? How will you know where to start, where to pick up if you never ever wanted it anyways.   You will always be at a loss for words when the ones you love don’t surrender their heart and soul as you have.  There’s nothing to say, only a drop of a jaw and a drip of a tear.  I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I have nothing to say.  I’ve only been convinced into thinking that I do.  That should apply for most others as well.  The world would be a quieter place if we didn’t feel we HAD to talk.  How is it that no one has ever given us that side or view? Why can’t we all just be quiet where necessary?  Don’t talk unless it’s to help.  Don’t hurt unless it’s because you’ve foolishly broken your leg.  Why these useless words? Does it really strengthen all of us? I think it breaks most of us down inside and out.  What the heart and soul feels shows on the outside.  We become vulnerable.  We stop eating, or stop eating healthy.  Our skin ages, bacteria infests in our pores, blood rushes, veins rise to the surface of our dry irritated skin.  It’s not what we want.  So we pretend to be happy? Or do we pretend to be lonely so that others feel it necessary to make you feel whole again?  It’s tricky the tricks your mind will play on you.  So we practice.. in our heads.  All of our lives what we’re thinking is just a silent and unknown practice… We practice all of the things we’ll one day show to everyone else.  You grow up but in your head, your way of thinking will be smeared all over each person’s life that you come into contact with.  Try this.  Don’t breathe just talk.. because you’ll realize how much of a dick you are just by nature.  Then you can learn to control it… Try to control it, and Love it and Hold it.  Because if it goes unnoticed it’s an idea and a way that grows.  It’s a tumor, an absess that needs to be removed.  So, treat it!  I really do believe in self therapy.  If you can think it, you can fix it, save it or if you want just break it.  Do what you need to in order to correct other areas of your life and slowly the circle will heal.  Your mind will feel whole again and your eyes will feel heavy.  Heavy with what they now can see and do… you’ll be stronger, livelier and more apt to make better decisions and speak positively on subjects that you once disliked or let soak into your already drooping shoulders.  Negativity is a lie that you cannot accept so your brain wraps and wraps until all you can think about is how sad you are about everything when you’re not sad at all.. (if you can think that you’re not sad) it will eat your soul… the way you think will eat your soul.